Three Things Business Authors Should Learn From Celebrity Autobiographies
Last night my friend Crystal Dempsey invited me and several other Charlotte women to the local premier of Celebrity Autobiographies. If this show comes to your town, definitely go to see professional actors read verbatim from books that were most certainly ghostwritten.
Oh, and if you’re lucky they’ll also read Suzanne Somers’ poetry (which probably wasn’t ghosted).
Sitting in the Booth Playhouse I found myself squirming at times, wiping away tears at others and often feeling ashamed of the ghost writers who were behind the work being read. For a taste of the brilliance I included a video at the bottom of the page.
Ghost writer takeaways for would-be business authors
- Don’t add fluff. I don’t think I’ve ever read a celebrity autobiography, but if last night is indicative, they carry a surfeit of filler material, just like business books. If you don’t have enough information to fill a book, write an article or eBook. You can always roll the articles up into a book later.
- Don’t publish until it’s right. Some (most?) of the celebs whose books were featured last night surely had second thoughts before they signed off on the final copy. Surely? Yes, I’m sure Kenny Loggins had reservations when he wrote about his wish for day of passionate lovemaking sans birth control. Surely he did. I’m not advising business authors that they should delay publication until it’s the definitive work that the sands of time will never change — even history is re-interpreted. Instead I’m telling you to listen to that little voice that says “This needs more data,” or ” I’m not sure this part needs to be in this book,” or “I don’t think my point is clear.”
- Hire for writing ability AND technical expertise. Celebrity autobiography ghost writers don’t need to be celebrities, they just need to understand the roller coaster of life — children are often misunderstood, everyone starts out a virgin, and some people are sharks — and draw their subjects out along those lines. Hiring a business ghost writer is different. You don’t want to spend time as an author explaining to your ghost writer what an ETF is or who Michael Porter is or how the Fed’s money supply affects mortgage rates.
And here’s the promised clip.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUn6XwY0Dk[/youtube]
Books are Marathons, Articles are Sprints. Sprint First
My stream of inquiries has picked up lately from business professionals who want me to ghost write their books. YEAH!
When an inquiry comes from someone who already produces content — whether a newsletter, blog, white papers, articles or presentations – our job is relatively straightforward. Not easy. Not cheap. Straightforward.
When, however, I get a call from someone who recognizes the marketing need to publish something, but only has a vague idea of what they want to cover and what they want readers to learn, I’m reluctant to sign on with the project. Why? It’s the equivalent of turning a couch potato into an Olympic athlete. Yes, it can be done, but most people don’t want it enough to do what it takes to achieve it. In these cases, I encourage them to start smaller (more on that below).
Then there’s the caller who just wants something — ANYTHING — without going the licensee route. In case you’re unfamiliar with that racket, here’s an example:
How was I going to derive his original voice? Where were the case studies? Did he just want me to re-write something for him based on company brochures? The assistant answered by sending me the two books that lit the fire under her boss. She said they wanted “something like them, but original.”
The first one was a Print-on-Demand (POD) book that permitted light customization by licensees. They could place the words “Courtesy of (insert name here)” on the front. The back cover allowed a 3″ block at the bottom for copy of their choice. The other was a booklet, not a book (8.5″ x 11″ pages stapled in the middle and folded) covering myths about annuities. A nice business model for the authors, I suppose.
Excuse me while I spit.
Consider an article or eBook first
If you want to write an original book of at least 15,000 words (otherwise it’s a booklet or article) and have nothing original for me to go on, be prepared to stroke a big retainer check and to spend a lot of time on the project.
If you’re not quite ready for that kind of marathon, start with a sprint. Consider a white paper or eBook of about 4000 words highlighting case studies from your practice. An article will give you something to test drive and refine or expand upon in the next edition or eventual book.
Final note: a professional layout and attractive illustrations will make your book or article something you’ll be proud of and something people will actually read — and isn’t that the point? I can help you find a graphics professional if you aren’t already working with one.
Don’t Be So Punny
This Daily Show segment, while aimed at news shows, rings true for business communicators, too. If you rely on puns to make a point, you’ll lose your audience. Get real!
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c You’re Not Punny www.thedailyshow.com
Have you ever had a pun backfire? Got a story to share? I’m compiling a Hall of Shame on this subject (with your help).
Argh! Piracy in the Newsletter
Today I received a newsletter from a small human resources consulting company featuring an excellent article on disengaged workers. Too bad the newsletter sender didn’t make clear what the writer’s relationship to the firm is. The newsletter only included her name — not even a proper byline.
Problems with this approach
A consulting company exists to solve client problems through its expertise and thought leadership. Newsletters should highlight both. This one did neither.
If the writer worked for the firm sending the newsletter it should have said so. If an employee of the firm wrote the article I might have been inclined to recommend her to the next person who complains about their workforce. That would have been a newsletter marketing success story.
After I went to the trouble of searching the sender’s website for the writer’s name and didn’t find it, I wondered if the sender simply lifted the article out of a professional publication — without attribution. That’s not only careless, but also possibly an infringement of copyright law. Piracy. This leads me to the conclusion that this company is unprofessional. Enough said.
The right approach
If you’re going to send a newsletter, you’ve got to write SOMETHING original, even if it’s just an introductory note explaining why the articles were chosen. This demonstrates your professionalism and avoids any question of copyright violation.
Nothing original to say? Fine! Refer to an article written by an outsider in a way that highlights YOUR expertise. In this case, the newsletter sender could have said something like “Clients with disengaged workers are usually making one of these common mistakes…” or ”We recently helped a transportation company avert a work stoppage by…”
Call to action
Close your newsletter with a distinct call to action. In this case, the company could have said, “Download this case study on how we helped a manufacturing firm improve absenteeism rates and productivity,” or “Join us for our quarterly roundtable discussion on getting more out of your existing workforce.” Heck, even something simple like this will do: “Call us if you see signs that your employees are disengaged…”
Your mom was right — sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all. If you can’t produce a newsletter that reflects well upon you, don’t produce a newsletter at all.
Social Media: Ethics & Best Practices for Attorneys
Like financial professionals, attorneys bear the burden of using good sense and propriety online. Would that everyone bore a similar burden! (but I digress).
Friday morning I co-facilitated a continuing education seminar for the Mecklenburg County Bar on social media with Andy Ciordia and Ted Claypoole . The attorneys asked great questions and the three of us presenting enjoyed the lively discussion.
Peppering his ethics guidance with jaw-dropping anecdotes of ethical lapses by legal professionals, Ted boiled everything down to four categories of concern:
- Talking too loosely
- Improper investigation (pretexting)
- Sites that don’t provide room for proper disclaimers (think: Twitter)
- Advertising Rules
I’m unqualified to say anything about legal ethics, but from a middle-aged lay person’s vantage point, much of what Ted said seemed like common sense and good manners: don’t say anything about someone behind their back that you wouldn’t say to their face; don’t misrepresent yourself or your behavior; and don’t tell a judge you need a continuance because your father died if your Facebook page shows you were getting smashed at your college roommate’s wedding!
Advice for blogging, Facebook and Twitter
Andy and I showed several examples of what to do and not to do on the big three social media platforms:
Blogging: We didn’t need to dwell on the oft-repeated advice to publish frequently — they’d all heard it. We took it further to show how you can subscribe to content feeds to supplement your own articles but also warned to keep non-pertinent content off your site. We showed an example of an otherwise-good blogsite by a divorce lawyer who inexplicably featured an article on SEO and Google.
Huh? Stick to your knitting.
Facebook: We see lots of lawyers using their personal FB profile as a professional site. Some even call it “The Family Law Firm of Jane Doe” or similar appellations — a big no-no and a violation of FB’s terms of service. FB created “Pages” for commercial use. Go to my AUTHOR PAGE of FB and you’ll see how it differs from the personal.
Twitter: The main concern Andy and I expressed here is lack of engagement. Most of what we saw lawyers do is BROADCAST new blog posts or news of the firm. Blech. If you’re not engaging people on Twitter, don’t waste your time with it.
If you’re unsure where to take your social media marketing efforts, reach out. If I don’t have the answers, Andy or Ted will.
Presentation Note Taking
This morning I co-presented a workshop on social media for real estate agents with Andy Ciordia and Beth Griffiths. The Broker In Charge asked us to provide the presentation in advance so that she could print it out for everyone to take notes on.
This is what people ask you to do because they’re accustomed to death by PowerPoint. In such a death, the speaker lards the presentation with bullet points and basically reads them to the audience (like a first grade teacher at story time).
We don’t subject people to so-called presentations of this ilk.
Our presentations lend visual interest to what’s being said and reinforce the points.
Responding to the request
What did we do? We devised a handout for “guided note taking” that gave our audience questions and prompts to go with the slides. For example, Stop thinking about “creating” traffic. With social media, it’s about “getting in front” of it. What are you doing to use web-based sites and tools to get people to notice you?
Try this technique next time and be sure to wind it down with a solid question like these:
- How many homes would I have to sell each month to pay for this service?
- How many more homes could I list/sell if I were doing this?
In case you’ve never seen this video on the proper use of PowerPoint (or any multimedia during a presentation) be sure to watch it here.
You’re Only Fooling Yourself
Last week, under the presumption of sending me St. Patrick’s Day greetings, I got this from a life insurance agent who likes to pose as a financial advisor:
St. Patrick’s Day is quickly approaching. Even if you’re not Irish, you still get an Irish Blessing to hold on to for the year.
May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
This is also the week that I send one of my periodic checklists. Please take a second of time to check-off these questions. It could help reduce your taxes and provide new financial tips. That’s worth a second! Here is the checklist.
This is not a download or an attachment. It is a safeguarded link.
And here’s what I got in that safeguarded link:
Let’s break this down
First,using the elementary school holiday calendar as an excuse to send solicitations is disingenuous. I can see right through your ploy.
Second, when you say you’re providing me with a checklist that will help me reduce taxes and provide financial tips that’s what I expect. You lied.
Third, the visually wretched “checklist” leads with the setup that you are somehow helping ME keep my “records current” when in reality it’s a lead generation form for YOU.
This kind of crappy communications gives the insurance sector a black eye. You earned the Golden Retriever Crappy Communications Award for March, 2010.
Home Office Design Tips — From a Financial Advisor?
In my occasional series of crappy newsletters, here’s another, sent by a financial planner.
The only professional I want to get office design tips from is an interior designer or furniture vendor.
With financial reform and the worldwide economic meltdown on most everyone’s mind, sending a newsletter with fluff like this makes me question whether this advisor is in the loop or out to lunch. C’mon, talk to me about something you’re a credentialed expert in!
Oh, the money saving tips? Crap I could get from Reader’s Digest like take your lunch to work instead of eating out and get DVDs free at the public library instead of renting them. You must be kidding.
This is another fine example of sending something for the sake of sending something. This advisor needs an editorial calendar. Big Time.
Oh, and the last straw? She actually PAID a vendor to give her a proverbial communications black eye.
If your boilerplate requires you to disclaim giving financial advice, at least print some material that verges on the topic!
Sheesh.
Where’s the News in Your Newsletter?
My inbox is clogged with so-called newsletters from people who must have made a resolution to “communicate more” or “do more marketing” in 2010.
Most of them are, in a word, crap.
In two words, self serving.
In three words, not worth reading.
Win a lifetime gift certificate for my services
If you can find the “news” in this “newsletter” I’ll work for you for the rest of my life for free!
(Redacted) brings proven, practical solutions to business challenges with a clear focus on the bottom line. We represent (verbal diahrrea). Our Practice Areas include:
CONSULTING and TRAINING (8 bullets)
COACHING (4 bullets)
If you’ve read this far you’re one in a million.
CAREER TRANSITION (2 bullets)
SALES PERFORMANCE AND REVENUE GROWTH (5 bullets)
(Redacted) mission is to assist organizations in developing and sustaining inclusive environments where all employees can do their best work (blah blah blah).
We work with organizations (yada yada yada).
If you’ve read this far you’re one in a billion.
An advertisement lodged into a newsletter template
This is best described as an awful ad or an internal document designed to remind the staff who they are and what they do. Releasing it to the public is a sure way to lose subscribers or gain a reputation with your service provider as a spammer.
Afraid you’ll run afoul of federal CAN-SPAM regs?
Anything I can do to help? 704-907-2811
Best advice: ask yourself, “Would I read this if it came from someone else?” The sender of this advertisement would surely have to answer “No.”
Six Shortcuts to a Knee Whack
We all love shortcuts, but sometimes they backfire.
I see professionals in financial services and the law taking shortcuts with their newsletters and email marketing efforts all the time. Nothing’s worse than a self-inflicted knee whack.
Be sure to scratch these six shortcuts off your list — they’ll definitely get you into trouble.
1. Add everyone from your Rolodex into your email subscriber list/ troll for email addresses online/ buy a list of email addresses
- To comply with CAN-SPAM guidelines, each person on the list must OPT IN, verbally or otherwise
- This shortcut violates the service terms of every internet service provider (ISP) think: Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail etc
- It really irritates recipients, making them likely to report you as a spammer
- ISPs and corporate email services are aggressively scrubbing unsolicited email from recipient mailboxes. The more services that block you today, the more services are likely to block you tomorrow
What’s SPAM anyway?
The word “spam” as applied to email means “unsolicited bulk email.” The two most important words there are UNSOLICITED and BULK.
Unsolicited means that the Recipient has not granted verifiable permission for the message to be sent. Bulk means that the message is sent as part of a larger collection of messages, all having substantively identical content.
A message is only if it is both unsolicited and bulk.
Unsolicited email is normal email, for example first contact inquiries, job inquiries and sales inquiries. Bulk email is normal email, for example, subscriber newsletters, customer communications, discussion lists.
Point of clarification: The CAN-SPAM Act goes beyond the technical definition of spam; it applies to commercial email sent to recipients in the US and originated in the States.
2. Send bulk email from your own outbox
For an average-sized email list you can send a monthly newsletter for $30-50. Here’s what you get in exchange for your pittance:
- Handling subscribe and unsubscribe requests according to federal guidelines
- Automated management of bounced emails and your email list
- Dealing with spam complaints made against you
- More of your messages hit the inbox instead of the spam filter. Email services have relationships with ISPs that you don’t have and can’t afford to develop
3. Make it easier for readers to hit “spam” than to un-subscribe
If you’re emailing to the US, you must provide a mechanism for recipients to stop receiving your messages. Don’t hide or minimize the unsubscribe link in your email.
When someone hits “spam” or labels your email “junk” your reputation with the ISPs takes a hit (they’re watching). If you earn a reputation with one or more ISPs as a spammer, it’s almost impossible to get your messages delivered anywhere. While results vary by the filter policy of each ISP, the 2008 Lyris report says it’s the sender’s reputation driving 25% of messages to the SPAM folder.
Bottom line: you don’t want to talk to people who don’t want to hear from you.
4. Load up your message with “spammy” words
With 15% of all reported spam last month was finance-oriented, ISPs are aggressively scrubbing emails with references or offers related to money, the stock market or other financial “opportunities” including investments, credit reports, real estate and loans. Here’s a partial list of words that typically trip the spam filters.
5. Bombard your list
In a study by Merkle this year, the main reasons subscribers choose to opt out of email programs are perceived irrelevance (75%) and sending too frequently (73%).
Promotional emails were deemed the most intrusive. Solution? Make your newsletter informative, not promotional.
Merkle reported that 20% of those receiving e-newsletters thought they were worthy of reading,which means 80% thought what they received was crap. Further, people reported receiving on average,about eight newsletters each month. That’s a heap of competition for YOUR customers’ attention.
6. Send crap for the sake of sending something
I receive a monthly newsletter from an Infiniti car dealer. I look forward to it for the same reason some people watch horror flicks.One edition was devoted to movie trends and the price of popcorn while another included a series of profiles of famous explorers from the 15th century.
Crap.
I’m not imaginative enough to tie movies and explorers to the latest model sports car; this dealer doesn’t even try!
The surest way to avoid sending crap is to devise an editorial calendar. Without one, you risk losing subscribers. Or you’ll only keep subscribers like me who want to mock you in their blogs.
For more information here’s a download of a CAN-SPAM guide and a PowerPoint with more details.
