Home Office Design Tips — From a Financial Advisor?
In my occasional series of crappy newsletters, here’s another, sent by a financial planner.
The only professional I want to get office design tips from is an interior designer or furniture vendor.
With financial reform and the worldwide economic meltdown on most everyone’s mind, sending a newsletter with fluff like this makes me question whether this advisor is in the loop or out to lunch. C’mon, talk to me about something you’re a credentialed expert in!
Oh, the money saving tips? Crap I could get from Reader’s Digest like take your lunch to work instead of eating out and get DVDs free at the public library instead of renting them. You must be kidding.
This is another fine example of sending something for the sake of sending something. This advisor needs an editorial calendar. Big Time.
Oh, and the last straw? She actually PAID a vendor to give her a proverbial communications black eye.
If your boilerplate requires you to disclaim giving financial advice, at least print some material that verges on the topic!
Sheesh.
Where’s the News in Your Newsletter?
My inbox is clogged with so-called newsletters from people who must have made a resolution to “communicate more” or “do more marketing” in 2010.
Most of them are, in a word, crap.
In two words, self serving.
In three words, not worth reading.
Win a lifetime gift certificate for my services
If you can find the “news” in this “newsletter” I’ll work for you for the rest of my life for free!
(Redacted) brings proven, practical solutions to business challenges with a clear focus on the bottom line. We represent (verbal diahrrea). Our Practice Areas include:
CONSULTING and TRAINING (8 bullets)
COACHING (4 bullets)
If you’ve read this far you’re one in a million.
CAREER TRANSITION (2 bullets)
SALES PERFORMANCE AND REVENUE GROWTH (5 bullets)
(Redacted) mission is to assist organizations in developing and sustaining inclusive environments where all employees can do their best work (blah blah blah).
We work with organizations (yada yada yada).
If you’ve read this far you’re one in a billion.
An advertisement lodged into a newsletter template
This is best described as an awful ad or an internal document designed to remind the staff who they are and what they do. Releasing it to the public is a sure way to lose subscribers or gain a reputation with your service provider as a spammer.
Afraid you’ll run afoul of federal CAN-SPAM regs?
Anything I can do to help? 704-907-2811
Best advice: ask yourself, “Would I read this if it came from someone else?” The sender of this advertisement would surely have to answer “No.”
Six Shortcuts to a Knee Whack
We all love shortcuts, but sometimes they backfire.
I see professionals in financial services and the law taking shortcuts with their newsletters and email marketing efforts all the time. Nothing’s worse than a self-inflicted knee whack.
Be sure to scratch these six shortcuts off your list — they’ll definitely get you into trouble.
1. Add everyone from your Rolodex into your email subscriber list/ troll for email addresses online/ buy a list of email addresses
- To comply with CAN-SPAM guidelines, each person on the list must OPT IN, verbally or otherwise
- This shortcut violates the service terms of every internet service provider (ISP) think: Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail etc
- It really irritates recipients, making them likely to report you as a spammer
- ISPs and corporate email services are aggressively scrubbing unsolicited email from recipient mailboxes. The more services that block you today, the more services are likely to block you tomorrow
What’s SPAM anyway?
The word “spam” as applied to email means “unsolicited bulk email.” The two most important words there are UNSOLICITED and BULK.
Unsolicited means that the Recipient has not granted verifiable permission for the message to be sent. Bulk means that the message is sent as part of a larger collection of messages, all having substantively identical content.
A message is only if it is both unsolicited and bulk.
Unsolicited email is normal email, for example first contact inquiries, job inquiries and sales inquiries. Bulk email is normal email, for example, subscriber newsletters, customer communications, discussion lists.
Point of clarification: The CAN-SPAM Act goes beyond the technical definition of spam; it applies to commercial email sent to recipients in the US and originated in the States.
2. Send bulk email from your own outbox
For an average-sized email list you can send a monthly newsletter for $30-50. Here’s what you get in exchange for your pittance:
- Handling subscribe and unsubscribe requests according to federal guidelines
- Automated management of bounced emails and your email list
- Dealing with spam complaints made against you
- More of your messages hit the inbox instead of the spam filter. Email services have relationships with ISPs that you don’t have and can’t afford to develop
3. Make it easier for readers to hit “spam” than to un-subscribe
If you’re emailing to the US, you must provide a mechanism for recipients to stop receiving your messages. Don’t hide or minimize the unsubscribe link in your email.
When someone hits “spam” or labels your email “junk” your reputation with the ISPs takes a hit (they’re watching). If you earn a reputation with one or more ISPs as a spammer, it’s almost impossible to get your messages delivered anywhere. While results vary by the filter policy of each ISP, the 2008 Lyris report says it’s the sender’s reputation driving 25% of messages to the SPAM folder.
Bottom line: you don’t want to talk to people who don’t want to hear from you.
4. Load up your message with “spammy” words
With 15% of all reported spam last month was finance-oriented, ISPs are aggressively scrubbing emails with references or offers related to money, the stock market or other financial “opportunities” including investments, credit reports, real estate and loans. Here’s a partial list of words that typically trip the spam filters.
5. Bombard your list
In a study by Merkle this year, the main reasons subscribers choose to opt out of email programs are perceived irrelevance (75%) and sending too frequently (73%).
Promotional emails were deemed the most intrusive. Solution? Make your newsletter informative, not promotional.
Merkle reported that 20% of those receiving e-newsletters thought they were worthy of reading,which means 80% thought what they received was crap. Further, people reported receiving on average,about eight newsletters each month. That’s a heap of competition for YOUR customers’ attention.
6. Send crap for the sake of sending something
I receive a monthly newsletter from an Infiniti car dealer. I look forward to it for the same reason some people watch horror flicks.One edition was devoted to movie trends and the price of popcorn while another included a series of profiles of famous explorers from the 15th century.
Crap.
I’m not imaginative enough to tie movies and explorers to the latest model sports car; this dealer doesn’t even try!
The surest way to avoid sending crap is to devise an editorial calendar. Without one, you risk losing subscribers. Or you’ll only keep subscribers like me who want to mock you in their blogs.
For more information here’s a download of a CAN-SPAM guide and a PowerPoint with more details.
Burned by Boilerplate
As we hurtle towards 2010 some financial advisors and life insurance agents keep communicating like it’s 1999.
The boilerplate communications racket
In the past week I got two identical Thanksgiving e-cards from different reps of the same general agency. Uh oh. It started with an email inviting me to “click here and view the card on a secured site…” which launched a browser, inside of which played a little flash file of autumnal photos — an animated version of the cheesiest Hallmark card ever printed. It was “customized” with the name of its sender.
Awash in meaninglessness
This week I got this email from a rep that said: “Every few months, I try to keep my clients and friends up-to-date with current financial issues or critical concerns…” and once again I was invited to view this important update by linking to a secured site.
She set my expectations right up front by promising “up-to-date with current financial issues or critical trends.” I don’t know about you, but I thought “financial issues or critical trends” might include something like financial services reform and how this rep is going to go above and beyond the regs to assure my confidence. Or perhaps a report on how how certain classes of annuities performed… How naive of me.
I clicked the link and got a flash-powered thingy that looked like a PowerPoint deck. The lead screen made the further promise “Providing valuable information of particular interest to you.” Wow, to me!
I then learned that (gasp) “Most people are frustrated by the amount of income tax they’re paying.” Really?
Next came a little lesson on the miracle of compounding interest. Be still my beating heart.
At the end I learned that there was a difference between tax-deferred and taxable income. A targeted message if ever there was one.
And what was the conclusion? “There could be ways to reduce your tax liability and optimize growth!“ You’re kidding! Somebody thought of that?
Then there was the lame call to action “Please provide information.” Clicking through I faced a comment box and the warning that I should allow 48 hours for a representative to get back to me. 48 hours? No one in 2009 is going to be that patient. If they want a product they could already buy it online in 48 hours.
You need to stop this. Right now!
I know you work under compliance regs and some companies and agencies are tougher than others.
I also know that these boilerplate services cut deals with the companies and agencies.
Still, there’s no excuse for sending out crap, absolute crap. If your compliance department won’t allow anything besides this boilerplate pablum, abstain altogether.
If your company has an approval process for customized communications, get on the stick! If not, pick the phone off its cradle and call your clients to wish them a happy new year. THAT will get their attention.
Authenticity can’t be bought, but is priceless
If you’re doing a mass customization communications campaign, do the job properly. For clues of where this boilerplate went into the ditch, look for my snarky comments above in blue.
If this all sounds like work, you’re right. Tell you what, give me a copy of your compliance requirements and I’ll devise a compliant communications strategy.
