Jon Stewart and the Gerund

English teachers the world over must’ve loved the way Jon Stewart taught us the gerund.

Commemorating the first anniversary of the Lehman Brothers collapse, Stewart riffed on this clip of President Obama’s speech to Wall Street.

Obama: “We’re proposing the most ambitious overhaul of the financial regulatory system since the Great Depression…”

Stewart: “Proposing?  Gerund?  Proposing?  Haven’t done it yet?”

Thanks, Jon. You’re a faux-news guy who jokes like an English Major.

September Book Lust

If you’ve read any of these, please write your thoughts/a review.  Here’s what’s on my radar.

Shop Class as Soulcraft byMatthew B. Crawford

Philosopher and motorcycle mechanic Crawford presents a fascinating, important analysis of the value of hard work and manufacturing. He reminds readers that in the 1990s vocational education (shop class) started to become a thing of the past as U.S. educators prepared students for the “knowledge revolution.” Thus, an entire generation of American “thinkers” cannot, he says, do anything, and this is a threat to manufacturing, the fundamental backbone of economic development. Crawford makes real the experience of working with one’s hands to make and fix things and the importance of skilled labor. His philosophical background is evident as he muses on how to live a pragmatic, concrete life in today’s ever more abstract world and issues a clarion call for reviving trade and skill development classes in American preparatory schools. The result is inspired social criticism and deep personal exploration. Crawford’s work will appeal to fans of Robert Pirsig’s classic Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and should be required reading for all educational leaders. Highly recommended; Crawford’s appreciation for various trades may intrigue readers with white collar jobs who wonder at the end of each day what they really accomplished.  – Library Journal

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor

On the morning of December 10, 1996, Jill Bolte Taylor, a thirty-seven-year-old Harvard-trained brain scientist, experienced a massive stroke when a blood vessel exploded in the left side of her brain. A neuroanatomist by profession, she observed her own mind completely deteriorate to the point that she could not walk, talk, read, write, or recall any of her life, all within the space of four brief hours. As the damaged left side of her brain–the rational, grounded, detail- and time-oriented side–swung in and out of function, Taylor alternated between two distinct and opposite realties: the euphoric nirvana of the intuitive and kinesthetic right brain, in which she felt a sense of complete well-being and peace; and the logical, sequential left brain, which recognized Jill was having a stroke, and enabled her to seek help before she was lost completely.

In My Stroke of Insight, Taylor shares her unique perspective on the brain and its capacity for recovery, and the sense of omniscient understanding she gained from this unusual and inspiring voyage out of the abyss of a wounded brain. It would take eight years for Taylor to heal completely. Because of her knowledge of how the brain works, her respect for the cells composing her human form, and most of all an amazing mother, Taylor completely repaired her mind and recalibrated her understanding of the world according to the insights gained from her right brain that morning of December 10th.

Today Taylor is convinced that the stroke was the best thing that could have happened to her. It has taught her that the feeling of nirvana is never more than a mere thought away. By stepping to the right of our left brains, we can all uncover the feelings of well-being and peace that are so often sidelined by our own brain chatter. A fascinating journey into the mechanics of the human mind, My Stroke of Insight is both a valuable recovery guide for anyone touched by a brain injury, and an emotionally stirring testimony that deep internal peace truly is accessible to anyone, at any time. — Amazon Review

The Artist, the Philosopher, and the Warrior: The Intersecting Lives of Da Vinci, Machiavelli, and Borgia and the World They Shaped by Paul Strathern

Despite the convoluted title, this latest from award-winning British novelist and historian Strathern (Napoleon in Italy) is simply a good, straightforward history of Renaissance Italy during the turbulent decade around 1500, with emphasis on several important players. Pope Alexander VI, though not in the title, is the central player. Famously corrupt and ambitious, Alexander aimed to enlarge the Papal States and his family’s influence, and his son, Cesare Borgia, led papal armies in three cruelly successful campaigns. The leading diplomat of wealthy but feeble Florence, Machiavelli worked hard to fend off Borgia, but admired his brutal realism, portraying him as the ideal ruler in his classic, The Prince. Both men knew Leonardo da Vinci, and Borgia employed him as a military engineer. However, da Vinci exerted no political influence, so the author’s digressions into his art and ingenious (but mostly unrealized) inventions stand apart from the narrative. Readers will reel at this meticulous popular account of Renaissance tyranny, corruption, injustice and atrocities. 8 pages of color illus., b&w illus., maps.  — Publishers Weekly

So Sue Me, Jackass!: Avoiding Legal Pitfalls That Can Come Back to Bite You at Work, at Home, and at Play by Amy Epstein Feldman and Robin Epstein

This informative, hilarious guide to the law will steer you through everything from on-line porn on the job to common-law marriage; from pet burials to Ponzi schemes. The Epstein sisters have fully mastered “I Sue,” the ancient, mysterious Jewish art of self-defense, and are, for the first time, sharing these secrets with gentiles. This book cannot replace a real lawyer when you get into trouble, but mastering its contents will save you from needing one.”–Ronald L. Kuby, Host, “Doing Time with Ron Kuby”

“This fun and funny book offers a wealth of practical and jaw-dropping legal insight, administered in a uniquely painless fashion. It also offers one of the most arresting author photos in the history of Anglo-American jurisprudence.” –Roger Parloff, senior editor for legal affairs, Fortune magazine

*Special hat tip to my Twitter friend @Character_B for bringing this book to my attention. He’s an insider on the project.

Planning ahead (October & November publications)

Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America by Barbara Ehrenreich (Oct)

“We’re always being told that looking on the bright side is good for us, but now we see that it’s a great way to brush off poverty, disease, and unemployment, to rationalize an order where all the rewards go to those on top. The people who are sick or jobless—why, they just aren’t thinking positively. They have no one to blame but themselves. Barbara Ehrenreich has put the menace of positive thinking under the microscope. Anyone who’s ever been told to brighten up needs to read this book.” —Thomas Frank, author of The Wrecking Crew and What’s the Matter with Kansas?

In this utterly original take on the American frame of mind, Barbara Ehrenreich traces the strange career of our sunny outlook from its origins as a marginal nineteenth-century healing technique to its enshrinement as a dominant, almost mandatory, cultural attitude. Evangelical mega-churches preach the good news that you only have to want something to get it, because God wants to “prosper” you. The medical profession prescribes positive thinking for its presumed health benefits. Academia has made room for new departments of “positive psychology” and the “science of happiness.” Nowhere, though, has bright-siding taken firmer root than within the business community, where, as Ehrenreich shows, the refusal even to consider negative outcomes—like mortgage defaults—contributed directly to the current economic crisis.

The Buyout of America: How Private Equity Will Cause the Next Great Credit Crisis Josh Kosman (Nov)

With exhaustive research and a rogues’ gallery of interviews, journalist Kosman puts together a convincing and disquieting argument that private equity firms are about to cause the next great credit crisis. Many people don’t realize that “private equity” is just a new name for a leveraged buyout, and that private equity firms make their money by loading their acquired companies with debt, garnering short-term gain at the cost of the businesses’ financial longevity. Exposing the pernicious practices of various high-profile firms (including Mitt Romney’s company, Bain Capital, notorious for its company-destroying practices), Kosman reveals how they cripple their acquired businesses competitively, limit growth and cut jobs without reinvesting the savings, all without even generating good returns for their investors. But if only half of PE-owned businesses go bankrupt, that would leave almost two million Americans out of jobs. What’s to be done? Kosman is a proponent of legislation that encourages buyers of companies to hold on to them for at least five years. This alarming book will keep anxious credit watchers on their toes—and hopefully inspire some pressure to keep PE firms from going the way of mortgage brokers.  — Publishers Weekly

Old Age in America

My dear friend is going through end-of-life issues with her parents. Below I’ve pasted a missive she sent to me from her childhood home, where she’s been helping out after her father collapsed.

This post has nothing to do with my “business” and the things I usually post, but since I own this blog and get to make all the big editorial decisions, here it is.

Subject line: “Aging in America”

I cracked today. Sitting for two hours outside of the house because the garage door opener wouldn’t work and there was no key and my mother can’t hear the phone while she’s out cold on Darvocet and Atavan at 9am.

… buying a wheel chair, at my mom’s request, then being told it was uncomfortable and “felt funny”

…being told where to turn and when to turn and what speed to drive and what lane to do it in on a route I had memorized thirty years ago

…buying dinner that was “too salty and cooked with some awful hot sauce on it” ( it was a plain chicken sandwich from Arby’s)

…seeing my father hunched over a walker in a shirt flecked with drool in a “rehab” facility where the patients still look like they will only be leaving feet first

…hours where the only conversation is ” do you need a drink, do you need to go to the bathroom, do you want to get in the bed, have you had a bowel movement yet ( not kidding)

…sitting in a room trying to have a conversation where the “roommate” has the TV blaring without any regard for their neighbor– Wheel of Fortune does not sound good at any volume, much less loud

…watching my dad sit there catatonic after an Atavan to “relax” him after a stressful day

What finally got me was when the wife of the room mate closed his curtain to do some clean up on her husband and this horrific odor began to permeate the entire room – it kept getting worse and worse and I had no idea why someone’s shit would stink that bad- then my brother told me that the roommate had a colostomy. I can not describe this stink.

And this facility is the top notch skilled nursing/rehab facility in the region – everyone has said so

That is when I had to leave the room to cry. And cry and cry- but by myself because if my Marine brother sees me cry I will have to take 50 lashes and 100 push ups because I am “an enabler” and too emotional.

The only levity is (my brother) — he says he’s bringing Vicks to stuff up his nose like for autopsies and he reminds Dad that many men would like to have cute little aides wipe their balls and ass.

Oh boy this is fun. I’d rather be working 70hrs. And by the way I have yet to get online to try to do my job. Even an aircard does not get reception in this house in the country.

I truly suck at this. Lousy daughter.

I invite your comments, good wishes and prayers for my friend and her family below

August Book Lust

If anyone’s read these, please write a review.  My appetite for books far exceeds the time I can devote to them.

The Myth of the Rational Market: A History of Risk, Reward, and Delusion on Wall Street

Excerpts from The Washington Post’s review
Fox, a business columnist for Time, spins a fascinating historical narrative, beginning with economist Irving Fisher’s paean to markets in, alas, 1929. Postwar economists such as Paul Samuelson noticed that most investment pros do not beat the averages. This led to the one positive contribution of the efficient-market hypothesis: Jack Bogle’s invention of index funds, which mimic the performance of the stock market as a whole and keep ordinary people from wasting their money trying to beat it. Fox recognizes that true believers in the market’s efficiency suffered from a “blinkered” mindset and “tunnel vision.” Yet I think he lets them off too easily. He laments (as if it were necessary) the lack of any alternative “grand new theory” and finds that the debate has resulted in a “muddle.”

Fox concludes, “If you do come up with an idea for beating the market, you need a model that explains why everybody else isn’t already doing the same thing.” Not necessarily. Markets aren’t physics. Maybe no one model explains them. The emerging school of behavioral finance fills in many of the gaps left by the efficient marketers. Behavioral finance, which Fox discusses at length, holds that financial man — far from the perfect, mechanical trader depicted in textbooks — is a rather neurotic fellow. He follows the crowd, fails to plan ahead and often makes mistakes. To think that his every price is perfect is a remarkable error indeed.

The Ascent of Money:  A Financial History of the World

Excerpts from The Washington Post’s review

The pleasure of reading Ferguson’s treatment comes partly from the clarity of his explanations of financial concepts but mostly from his pen portraits of the extravagantly gifted and flawed characters who have led money’s long rise. He shows us how far we have come since Mesopotamian moneylenders developed rudimentary accounting around 1,000 B.C. and the Medici created elements of modern banking in 14th- and 15th-century Florence. But he also weaves a long series of manias, panics and crashes into his tale. The Medici family’s surviving papers, he notes, bear scorch marks from the vengeful reformist Savonarola, who set up a Bonfire of the Vanities to destroy sinful goods and sent the Medici packing in one of the periodic reversals of fortune to hit financial leaders over the centuries.

Ferguson sketches the rollicking career of John Law: Scottish con man, killer, genius, lover and creator, in 1719-20, of one of history’s great stock market bubbles. Law effectively took control of the French national debt, substituted paper currency for gold and sold shares in the company that controlled French Louisiana. As the shares rose in price and investors borrowed against them, the volume of paper money doubled in a year, breeding inflation, speculation and the new term “millionaire” before Law’s system collapsed. From that day on, Ferguson writes, all bubbles have followed five stages:

1) Displacement, as economic change brings a chance for extraordinary profits; 2) Euphoria, as investors take advantage of the opportunity, 3) Mania, as novices, crowds and swindlers rush in; 4) Distress, as insiders see their prospects for profit declining because of the mania and start selling; and 5) Revulsion, as all stampede for the exits.

Guts:  Combat, Hellraising, Cancer,  Business Start-ups, and Undying Love: One American Guy’s Reckless, Lucky Life

From Publishers Weekly
Vietnam vet, cofounder of New England Monthly and a media consultant, Nylen, who died last year, shares with punchy humor and tremendous grace his tough approach to taking risks and staring down exacting bosses as well as cancer.

Cherishing such stoical role models as Don Quixote and Ulysses S. Grant (as well as his own father, who spent his prime years as a DuPont executive before a traumatic fall altered his life permanently), Nylen celebrates America’s admiration with gutsiness, and his own lifetime attempts (frequently foolish) to make the Cool Guys Hall of Fame.

The bulk of this memoir is Nylen’s facetious though moving account of his stint as an infantry officer in Vietnam in 1968, and the men he loved and lost—the ghastly experience, he assures readers, was never accurately depicted in popular movies. Shell-shocked, married after release from the army, simulating a normal person and appearing unemployable, he began his accidental career as a media ad salesman starting at Look magazine, dealing with tough bosses like Bill Dunn at U.S. News and World Report and Mike Levy at Texas Monthly before embarking on his own.

Diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage III when he was 60, he endured treatments, surgeries, pain and frequent accidents of his own making, but preserves his cheerful, frank, optimistic and ever competitive spirit in the face of mortal adversity.

*Notes:  The review doesn’t mention that Nylen founded BeliefNet.com.  And yes, I believe that is a set of brass balls on the cover.

Habit: The 95% of Behavior Marketers Ignore

In his first book, communications consultant-to-the-stars (Sprint, Nextel, Cisco, Nortel, TI, Motorola) and “expert in consumer behavior” Martin uses ideas from the worlds of science, technology, psychology, history, philosophy and business to demonstrate how a consumer’s unconscious controls most of his or her behavior. As a result, Martin argues, companies large and small are wasting money and energy engaging the wrong part of the brain (my emphasis added) -rather than worrying over expected behavior or ultimate satisfaction, marketers should focus on how buying habits form through simple, time-tested methods like reward and repetition.

How else would brands like Microsoft-infamously frustrating but ingrained in the culture-and Starbucks coffee-overpriced but ubiquitous (and literally addictive)-make it? In a reportorial style fit for both marketing executives and savvy consumers, Martin presents interviews with marketers, researchers and scientists that outline the principles supporting his method, delineating the executive mind from the habitual (unconscious) mind, exploring how an ideal product like the iPod targets both minds, and providing a blueprint for creating habitual buyers. Martin’s argument requires readers to suspend some long-held beliefs about consumers, but rewards them with some eye-opening perspective.

Update

A Twitter friend  alerted me to this video after I tweeted the url

Another Tweep told me about Paul Krugman’s review of the book in NYT.

Multi-tasking

Here’s a cool online simulator of texting while driving. It requires you to navigate toll gates (of the type you see on a toll road) while answering a text message and avoiding pedestrians. It comes with a disclaimer that you should never text and drive, no matter how well you score.

At the risk of sounding sociopathic, I wonder why texting and driving can’t be an acquired skill.

In July 2009 a new computer AAA Foundation released a new computer program designed to help Baby Boomers retrain their brains and delay the impact of aging.  Developed byPositScience, DriveSharp claims that using it 20 minutes a day 3+ times a week will:

• Increase your useful field of view by 200%—see more in your peripheral vision
• React faster to dangers—stop 22 feet sooner when traveling at 55 mph
• Drive with greater confidence at night, in traffic, and in new places
• Cut your risk of a car crash in half

The brain is capable of miraculous things.  Why not texting and driving?

« Previous Page